Everyday Life shower thoughts 🚿
Doors, socks, traffic, and the general weirdness of daily existence.
A large majority of people probably read “whattttttt” by stretching out the “A” sound
You don't decide where the furniture in your house goes, the power outlets do.
It's weird how when you're depressed, not doing anything feels way more exhausting than actual physical labour.
Sugar doesn’t have an “h” in it and everyone’s ok with it.
73 looks like a drunk seagull falling off a cliff
Drinking thru a straw is the exact opposite of going snorkeling
There is a chance that if you shuffle a playlist it will play in the order it would without shuffle
Blinks get removed from your memory.
The guy who invented the eraser just rubbed a bunch of things on paper until it worked
It’s incredibly likely that there are at least some 10/10 gorgeous people out there in the world who would date you. What’s even more likely is that you’ll never meet one of them.
If we ever create a mass-produced car that's faster than the speed of sound, the main point of car horn will be lost.
If you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room, you would essentially have a wireless hose
There’s no such thing as a broken rock, there’s just new rocks.
If you lend someone $20 and they never talk to you again, it was probably a good investment.
Flying cars shouldn't be a thing since humans have proven they can't even handle normal cars properly
Pirates might be more successful than ever and all hide in the Bermuda Triangle but people don’t know because they just make every ship they rob look like it randomly sunk.
If women can break water during birth, people can break wind, and construction workers break ground, all it’s gonna take is a female construction worker who figures out how to break fire before we have the avatar of breaking things
You don’t hear much about the original Zealand.
Nobody actually reads the rules for Monopoly, unless a fight occurs.
Historically speaking, the 'keys to the kingdom' are usually swords.
If you drive one mile, you notice a mile of things. If you walk a mile, you notice 5,280 ft of things.
Saying 1, 2, 3 is the same as saying 1-3
Walking around unmasked people feels weirder than walking around masked people.
You'd be really motivated if the weight you lost went to someone you don't like.
The colour silver is polished grey
It’s a state of suspense between your last hiccup and realizing it stopped.
A dick move is appreciated only during sex.
We think of newborns as delicate, but they're designed to be squeezed through a narrow tube and come out fine
In the world of avatar, a bloodbender probably never needs to take viagra
Not reading the instructions before you start something makes you seem smarter if you succeed and dumber if you fail.
If you’re a straight man, you’re attracted to curves.
Looking at Braille is such an undervalued privilege.
The definition of insanity and the definition of practice are the same.
There is something about the color combination of purple and teal that screams 1990s.
We are very trusting of handles on cups and mugs.
The 2nd biggest loser in the world is more of a loser than the 1st biggest loser
Any Rick and Morty fanfiction is technically canon because there are infinite realities.
Asking for a raise is a lot harder than asking for nudes
We really need a more modern version of "We didn't start the fire"
Saying “f**k” whilst having sex is the same as shouting “parkour!” When doing parkour
The guy who came up with the concept of surgery must have sounded like a nut.
The opposite of 'lol' is 'cry in silence'
It's quicker to count to 10, 6 times, than to count to 60.
The major reason people ignore the great minds of our world in favor of their own opinions is that people all think they're the great minds of our world.
The women’s version of having a man open a tightened jar top is when the man needs her help undoing the impossible to open plastic bag knot.
It’s going to be really awkward when the logo changes back to colour
People are probably using the 'I don't feel good' excuse a lot less lately
We as humans have ability to spew acid everywhere. It's just not as exciting as we thought.
It isn’t training cops, it’s qualifying the people that are applying to be cops in the first place.
A dick measuring 3.14 inches is a πnis
Procrastinating is a NSFW activity
If you treat a stab wound with stitches, you're treating a stabbing with more stabbing.
Having a sore throat and not telling anyone is the new "hiding a zombie bite."
Technically anything can be done in a matter of seconds, even if it takes an hour cause then it’s just 3600 seconds.
Most shirts have a tiny cape in them if you turn them inside out
If Belle was ugly, no one would've cared that the Beast took her
A capital Q is an O committing indecent exposure.
Sucking and blowing have opposite meanings ordinarily, but are synonymous when used sexually.
Having a health bar would make people healthy
Some people are so afraid of being lonely that they'll stick with the wrong person until the end.