Everyday Life shower thoughts 🚿
Doors, socks, traffic, and the general weirdness of daily existence.
They literally pay a smoker in non smoking advertisements.
When you cut a corner off, you end up creating more corners
You can do a perfect impression of somebody you don't even know about
Don't relax too soon, 2020 might be just a trailer of 2021
You’ve forgotten about 40% of what you have learned in the last 20 minutes
Putting dirty clothes on is so much more unbearable than keeping dirty clothes on.
The true message of Jurassic Park is “Don’t piss off your IT person”.
Centaurs probably slap their own asses to go faster
In a game of Checkers, you only play on half the board.
People who like to drive faster end up behind slower cars sooner
The goal of tinder is for you to delete tinder
Your greatest talent may not exist in your lifetime
If Sherlock Holmes turned to crime he’d be able to get away with almost anything.
The number of female breasts in the world is roughly equal to the number of testicles in the world which is roughly equal to the number of people in the world
If somebody says they don't pee in the shower, you have to wonder what else they lie about.
You are = You’re, Are not = aren’t, You are not ≠ You’re’nt
If you’re ever caught naked in public, it’s actually a better idea to just cover your face
That first post-hibernation bear shit must be absolutely wretched.
Pollen is plant sperm. That makes Hayfever an STD
If you think you’re ugly, maybe you aren’t your type.
She was little. She did wear a hood. And the hood was definitely red. But did anyone ever see her riding? NO!
Despite being a very distinctive flavour, vanilla has become synonymous with "plain".
There are probably a lot more grenade pins in existence than grenades
If you successfully do something your first try and never attempt it again, you will forever have a 100% success rate.
If you are always really inconsistent, you are technically consistently inconsistent
You're really an adult if it has become apparent how little $1,200 is
Paper actually has 6 sides, but no one notices until they stack it.
A microwave second feels way longer than a regular second.
Maybe if people weren't so strict about swearing at younger ages, adults wouldn't do it so often.
Governments could've been planting absurdly dumb conspiracies in the conspiracy theory community so that when a plausible one happens it could be regarded as a "conspiracy theory".
The entirety of the plot of Cinderella is based upon the fact no two people have the same shoe size
Some people don’t even know lightning bugs exist.
The townsfolk might have liked Belle from Beauty and the Beast more if she hadn't constantly danced around town singing about how boring they all were
People with hearing impairments who read lips must be really frustrated with everyone wearing facemasks in public.
We mainly hear about the dumb criminals because the smart ones are not usually caught
You are the only person who has seen most of your shit, literally and figuratively.
Nowadays, it’s the Outlaws who are not wearing masks
It's highly probable that there is someone who is perfect for you but it's highly improbable that you will meet them.
Wanting to listen to earrape makes it earsex...
An emergency is when urgency emerges
Arranging the numbers alphabetically, Zero comes at infinity.
Tortilla chip bags always have a window so you can see the chips but potato chip bags don’t.
The statement "I'm a liar" can never be false
There probably aren’t a lot of bad skydivers left in the world.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz would’ve been one of the greatest scientific minds to ever live.
Being afraid of the dark is one of the most rational fears yet you get picked on for it the most. It's in human nature to fear the loss of one of our main senses yet it is considered a childish.
The Jedi are a cult with abusive rules and dated views that created the Sith Lords they despise. They aren't the good guys.
Glitches in games could be just the characters’ attempt to break free.
The average number of legs per human is fewer than 2
Since walls have thickness, adding walls in the middle of a house gives you less room but more rooms
People who are naturally good at playing instruments have a strength for something man made. Imagine a caveman with a talent for playing piano before the existence of pianos.
The full length of a song being stuck in your head wouldn't be as bad compared to a 15 second loop.
The age we use scissors the most is also the age we’re not allowed to use them without an adult present.
High heels are pushup bras for butts
No matter how weird you think the combination of your hobbies, opinions and interests is, there is probably someone in the world that likes and dislikes exactly the same things as you. An you'll most likely never meet them.
Turn-signal use is the perfect way to judge whether someone is selfish, because turn signals typically don't benefit the driver at all, only other people.
A gambling addiction isn't really a problem until you start losing.
The dirtier you are before showering the cleaner you feel when you finish.
People appreciate imaginary Italian plumbers more than real ones.
The difference between doing something brave and doing something stupid is whether or not you succeed.