Every thought in the directory, ranked from certified brain-tingling down to the deep pages where the weird stuff lives.
Cooking is, for the most part, making hard things soft and soft things hard by heating them up.
Tiramisu sounds more Japanese than Italian
Most people can't find their best sleeping position because they fell asleep in it.
Putting zombies on treadmills would provide a wonderful source of green, sustainable energy.
Some animals have no idea other animals exist. For instance, a shark has no idea what a camel is
If sex wasn't intimate, it would probably be a perfectly normal activity you'd also do with your friends
It’s weird how we can shorten “do not” into “don’t”, but can’t shorten “am not” to “amn’t”
Flat earth believers shouldn't celebrate New Years
Before we make a confession we usually start it with "honestly" because we are so used to hiding our feelings.
It is a possibility that our default state is asleep and we wake up every morning to gather information for our dreams.
Clocks go “tick tock“ or “tock tick” depending on when you started listening.
2 people video calling can’t stare into each other’s eyes simultaneously
A large majority of people probably read “whattttttt” by stretching out the “A” sound
You don't decide where the furniture in your house goes, the power outlets do.
Human milk is one of the few things that everyone has had but almost no one remembers the taste of
People get embarrassed seeing zoo animals do gross things, but if you are in your apartment (habitat) long enough you do some pretty gross things too.
It's weird how when you're depressed, not doing anything feels way more exhausting than actual physical labour.
In Harry Potter the black market probably has a high demand for celebrity hairs.
Sugar doesn’t have an “h” in it and everyone’s ok with it.
73 looks like a drunk seagull falling off a cliff
Drinking thru a straw is the exact opposite of going snorkeling
The reason adults aren’t picky eaters is because they buy food that they like to eat.
There is a chance that if you shuffle a playlist it will play in the order it would without shuffle
You can remove any letter from the word PEAR, and it would still be an existing word
You may have walked past someone you've played against online.
Blinks get removed from your memory.
When you order food at a restaurant, you always start your order with a drink. At a fast food joint, you always end your order with a drink.
Car alarms aren't very effective since they go off accidentally all the time
The guy who invented the eraser just rubbed a bunch of things on paper until it worked
British people need to regularly clear their browser biscuits.
It’s incredibly likely that there are at least some 10/10 gorgeous people out there in the world who would date you. What’s even more likely is that you’ll never meet one of them.
If we ever create a mass-produced car that's faster than the speed of sound, the main point of car horn will be lost.
You can like someone without loving them and you can love someone without liking them.
If you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room, you would essentially have a wireless hose
The parents of colorblind people must've been very concerned when they were first learning the colors.
Every time we invent a new technology, it becomes a metaphor for everything. E.g. if you have a hammer, everything’s a nail. Psychology used to be really into ideas about stress and pressure (this came from trains and steam-power). More recently, we say ‘recharge your batteries’ etc.
Your 36th birthday is a celebration of being alive as an adult for as many years as you have been alive as a kid.
There’s no such thing as a broken rock, there’s just new rocks.
If you give your dog 5 dollars they immediately join the canine 1% and will have more money than their dog friends will ever have.
If you lend someone $20 and they never talk to you again, it was probably a good investment.
Since dogs can't take acting lessons, anytime they are happy in a movie they were probably actually happy
A person is more likely to eat a shark then a shark is to eat a person.
Houses are generally one of the only second hand things that are more expensive to the next person the buys it.
If you hate the actor/ actress who played a villian in a movie because of the role they played, it's obvious that they did am amazing job
Nepotism is frowned upon, but being “family owned and operated” for generations is something businesses brag about
Flying cars shouldn't be a thing since humans have proven they can't even handle normal cars properly
No zombie movie takes into consideration that it's actually very hard to bite through human skin, let alone with a rotted jaw.
You can't get a bigger dick but you can get a smaller girlfriend.
It took 20 years but we've finally come full circle from phones that were too thick to fit in your pocket, to phones that are too long to fit in your pocket.
If you ever get to become immortal, your chances of getting trapped somewhere forever rise to 100%
Pirates might be more successful than ever and all hide in the Bermuda Triangle but people don’t know because they just make every ship they rob look like it randomly sunk.
If women can break water during birth, people can break wind, and construction workers break ground, all it’s gonna take is a female construction worker who figures out how to break fire before we have the avatar of breaking things
The only job that everyone can see themselves doing is cleaning mirrors
You don’t hear much about the original Zealand.
Super villains that have a lair in a volcano must have some serious air purification. Otherwise the sulfur dioxide and heat would just kill everyone.
Nobody actually reads the rules for Monopoly, unless a fight occurs.
Historically speaking, the 'keys to the kingdom' are usually swords.
You can actually see atoms, but not individually
If you drive one mile, you notice a mile of things. If you walk a mile, you notice 5,280 ft of things.
Saying 1, 2, 3 is the same as saying 1-3