Every thought in the directory, ranked from certified brain-tingling down to the deep pages where the weird stuff lives.
Walking around unmasked people feels weirder than walking around masked people.
Perfect murders exist. We just don't know because that's how it's supposed to work.
You'd be really motivated if the weight you lost went to someone you don't like.
The colour silver is polished grey
The entire pen industry is held together on the basis that people are always losing their pens. Otherwise you would only need a new one every few years.
It’s a state of suspense between your last hiccup and realizing it stopped.
A dick move is appreciated only during sex.
We think of newborns as delicate, but they're designed to be squeezed through a narrow tube and come out fine
In the world of avatar, a bloodbender probably never needs to take viagra
When an animal does something wrong, you treat them like a human. But when a human does something wrong, you treat them like an animal.
Eating a burger upside-down is the proper way as it allows the thicker bun to the absorb the juices therefore making it less messy to eat
When you scratch an itch and it itches even more, it's your body's way of saying "Harder daddy"
People will laugh if you believed your dog went to a "farm" but have no doubts there's a heaven waiting for humankind.
Not reading the instructions before you start something makes you seem smarter if you succeed and dumber if you fail.
Water is the default flavor
Opening a new jar of peanut butter and taking the first scoop always feels better than the second, even though it's the same peanut butter
It’s impressive when dogs do something clever, but it’s scary when cats do something clever
If you’re a straight man, you’re attracted to curves.
You never realize how much you use a certain body part until you get a paper cut on it.
If your pet makes a specific noise around you for attention, That's them naming you.
Looking at Braille is such an undervalued privilege.
People with shit tastes enjoy stuff more than people with good taste
The real Paleo diet is spending all your time and calories looking for food.
The ears of Mickey Mouse are round no matter which angle you see them from, hence they must be spheres.
You could be the smartest person in the world but if you live in a poor area you may never get the chance to prove your intelligence
The definition of insanity and the definition of practice are the same.
There is something about the color combination of purple and teal that screams 1990s.
We are very trusting of handles on cups and mugs.
People from our generation will most likely celebrate “nice 69th” birthday parties
The eighth letter of the alphabet is "eightch".
"The file got corrupted" is the new "The dog ate the homework"
The first time you were relaxed, you were just laxed.
Butterflies have one more cone in their eyes than us, meaning they can see colors that we can't even imagine.
The 2nd biggest loser in the world is more of a loser than the 1st biggest loser
Pouring coffee on someone is more likely to wake them up than letting them drink it
You could possibly be living someone's dream life.
Any Rick and Morty fanfiction is technically canon because there are infinite realities.
Asking for a raise is a lot harder than asking for nudes
We really need a more modern version of "We didn't start the fire"
Saying “f**k” whilst having sex is the same as shouting “parkour!” When doing parkour
Removing food that an ant was nearby would make it look like a liar to it’s colony
You eat pie from the centre.
Growing old is infuriating because you have to scroll farther and farther down to select your birth date on websites.
The guy who came up with the concept of surgery must have sounded like a nut.
The opposite of 'lol' is 'cry in silence'
A person who can read peoples minds #1 weakness is them speaking another language they don't understand
History classes will just keep getting longer and longer...
Between Baa Baa Black Sheep, the ABCs song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Mozart might accidentally be one of the most popular children’s songwriters with only one tune.
You really under appreciate how much each muscle you have does until they are sore.
Cannibals probably enjoy licking their fingers after a meal more than most people.
It's quicker to count to 10, 6 times, than to count to 60.
When the world goes back to normal and the streets are full again, street kittens that were born recently will be confused at the sudden sight of many humans.
If humans could shed their skin (like snakes), we'd do some pretty messed up things with it.
The major reason people ignore the great minds of our world in favor of their own opinions is that people all think they're the great minds of our world.
The women’s version of having a man open a tightened jar top is when the man needs her help undoing the impossible to open plastic bag knot.
The final seasons of game of thrones were so spectacularly bad that it virtually erased all media presence and references from one of the most talked about series in TV history
If you are what you eat, then eating the same food twice is cannibalism
It’s going to be really awkward when the logo changes back to colour
People that constantly post motivational quotes are either happy and rich or broke and depressed. There’s no in between.
People can wear masks into banks nowadays and no one will question them.